The In Between(s)

By Clarissa Toll

If you have been around church for any amount of time, you’ve heard about seasons. 

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. -Ecclesiastes 3:1

A season for birth and death
A season for planting and reaping
A season for healing
A season for building
A season for tears and laughter 
A season for dancing
A season for embracing 
A season for tearing down and mending
A season to be silent and to speak

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There is so much to glean from these seasons. So much goodness and importance are housed within these defining portions of our lives, but what happens when they aren’t as easily defined? 

What happens when you don’t know exactly which season you’re in?

These are the in between(s), as I’ve recently started calling them. 

Ya know those times when a big something is ending In a short amount of time but you’re not quite there yet or you see a change not far off but you’re in a period of uncertainty? A job change, a birth of a child, the start of empty-nesting, graduating high school or college, deciding on a move… the list goes on.  

Right now, I am literally in the season (summer) between graduating college and starting my big adventure into a career and my future. 

The in between(s) are really hard on me, at least that's what i'm learning in this season of what feels like nothing but endings and the waiting on beginnings. I'll finish school up this coming December, "real-adult" like life will start after that, along with which will come a bunch of other big heart things to size up and settle into before the looming deadline. Its weird and uncomfortable, to be honest. I've been warring with being content, holding on, and running full speed ahead for some time now. 

It’s an odd place to be in, while I may feel finished, I’m not yet done and there are still hoops to jump through. I can feel the pull to jump off and start, yet I’m in between the end and the beginning of two major chapters of my life. I don’t know the career I’ll fall into at the end of December or where I’ll be this time next year, but I’m in a-not-so definable season nonetheless. 

Sure I’m building, but I’m also waiting. I’m embracing the beginning of the new, but I’m also reaping what came from the planting that is four years in college.  

But y’all want to know what I’ve learned by seeking and pondering about seasons? Each season isn’t defined by one word. A lot of them are marked by these words from Ecclesiastes, but there are in between(s) to each.  

It’s never wrapped up with a nice one word, easily defined bow, but even the in between(s) are just as important and chalk full with things to glean.

I’m the type of person who likes to find boarders and parameters; I like to label things and scrutinize over there definitions.  But the older I get, I’ve realized the undefinable are the things we learn from the most. 

No season the Lord leads us through will be completely comprehended by our human abilities, so why do I (we) limit them to simple, short worldly definitions?

We catch such sweet glimpses of what He is teaching us as we walk through them, but some of these fruits we will never fully grasp this side of heaven (Ecclesiastes 8:17).

So we’re going to reap and build and tear and laugh and cry and speak and be silent in each season of our lives, possibly with one or two playing a larger role in each, but it’s all going to add up into a season. 

In each, though, I pray we choose to glean and seek where the Lord is. 

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord. -Psalm 27:13

Where do you feel in between? Where is it you aren’t sure how to define where you stand?

Lord, our time on this earth is a constant time of change and seasons. There is mess and stability, brokenness and joy; but in it all is where we find you. As a church, I pray we recognize the seasons and the in between(s) we’re in so we can seek you and know you better in our lives. This side of heaven is full of your brush strokes of mercy, lets us glean from them Lord.